The conversation below is not about breaking rank in the phalanx of intellectual ideas, like some peacock in the ideological gender wars of stupidity. I do have my grievances, but that is not the purpose of what follows.
I. Who I Am & Why This Page Exists
This about page is a brief yet personal and as honest a perspective of who I am on many fundamental levels. I created this website so I could speak freely about various creative subjects without risking my YouTube channel over anything that can be misconstrued or deemed inflammatory due to platform policies.
America has a nasty talent for building people up to only enjoy in the most immature ways to watch them fall. I have been a scapegoat several times in my life for things I had nothing to do with—hard life lessons. Some incidents were not short-term pains; some cost me months in my youth when others lied about me to fulfill their twisted desire to remove me from the sport I loved.
I saw firsthand the vindictive and malicious motivations of such people when they wanted to paint me as a monster. I learned that association alone can be misleading and that people will lie to get what they want. It taught me that it is better to be an honest man and focus on my own development, which got me to college through hard work and determination. Real friends don't betray each other, especially when there's no financial motivation or legitimate criminal cause involved.
I state such things to make a point: not once in my life have I actively sought to hinder someone’s personal or financial growth like some spoiled child with a badge. I know accidents happen, but not when they become habitual and cause others vast amounts of personal time and energy. I am not a public figure, and I do not find the invasion of people’s personal lives amusing, regardless of their values.
II. The Arena — My Athletic Background
There are references here that those in the competitive sports world will recognize. If you haven't been in the arena yourself, some context may not be immediately clear.
I grew up competing in a clean sport. I started at a very early age and was training seriously by age 13–14. When I was in high school, other kids went on dates and had normal social lives. I was at practice, preparing for the college arena. I wanted to be part of a team that had the potential to go all the way — to be National Champions. I never took a shortcut. I was one of the top recruits in the nation in my sport.
My grades were average because I was too tired to care. And contrary to popular stereotypical theatrical nonsense, the student athlete is typically smarter than the average college graduate, because they have to maintain passing grades to compete. Most Ivy League colleges like Stanford dismissed me when they saw my scores, as if my IQ could be summed up in an SAT score at 18 years old. Stanford did not waste its time on me, and rightly so. Every college sports program is a business, and in the end I wanted to go to a school that had the best chance of winning an NCAA Division I title. Strategically, I made the right call — and I did not get a free ride through school. I had to make sacrifices to get there, to be there, and to graduate.
I was an Olympic Trials Finalist at 20 years old, before my best team years at Auburn University. I loved my AU team like family, but extended family does not always see one's full potential due to the social and financial environment of a college team. I am not going back to a theater campaign like I was at Auburn — to be a team mascot, a second-tiered athlete, a pace horse, a joke for everyone's amusement behind the scenes.
Training Weight History (it takes years to put on healthy, well-conditioned muscle for performance):
High School: 170–185 lbs
College: 190–205 lbs — two workouts nearly every day, 6,000+ calories, heavy cardio
Adult Muscle: 205–230 lbs
General Training Weight: 215–220 lbs
III. Clean Sport & The Drug Testing Reality
When sports refuse to stand up to toxic lifestyles that threaten the longevity of the sport, it becomes a business problem. The natural order is being distorted by those with dishonorable intentions—a sickness created by those who wish to destroy the foundation of what makes democracy flourish: logic, reason, and common sense for the general population.
I was in the USADA drug testing pool for roughly a decade — a distinction that required being ranked approximately in the top 15 to 20 in the world in my event, with criteria established jointly by USA Swimming, FINA, and USADA. At my peak, I was ranked near the top 10 in the world. This meant being subject to unannounced testing 365 days a year, with no off-season — submitting quarterly whereabouts filings so I could be located at any time. The reality of true sport is that drug testing procedures exist to educate athletes to the best of the program's ability — to protect their health and longevity.
Not once in my entire life have I taken performance-enhancing drugs to win anything. Nor did I ever fail a blood test while in the USADA drug testing pool. In general, most people — and even doctors in sports — have a hard time knowing the difference between someone on performance-enhancing drugs versus someone traditionally trained, without looking at their blood work. I mention this because I am occasionally accused by random people in the gym who have no idea what they're talking about.
If someone wants to give me a free battery of blood tests to verify I am clean of both disease and performance-enhancing drugs, it will not be at my expense. I have plenty of current and prior blood test results to prove such claims. This is not a joke. It is a serious federal offense — carrying prison time — to have one's blood work altered or changed for any reason that could hurt, endanger, or possibly kill the patient.
I believe doing the work is important. Shortcuts are for fake alphas using chemical cocktails like steroids. I want nothing to do with toxic individuals and clandestine groups who intentionally try to ruin people's lives for their sick entertainment. My issue is specifically with those who knowingly cheat drug testing procedures in clean sports. Cheaters in Olympic-type sports always get caught, eventually.
The only thing I believe works in favor of healthy sport performance is stem cell therapy — for injuries and rehabilitating joints, if one can afford it. I do not play games with my life for a moment of glory in the arena.
IV. The Olympic Problem
I was saddened by reports from the last few Olympic ‘shows’ demonstrating how ridiculous, petty, and shallow some athletes could stoop to win. Then again, large sums of money are involved — billions of dollars in marketing campaigns and athlete endorsements. It is a sick joke in my eyes, as the best athletes do not always win. In the end, it is not about national pride; it's about propaganda and money.
We should be promoting healthy human habits. Make a simple time standard per event, let all who qualify participate regardless of country, and reserve the title of Olympian for those who medal. Let the best compete — the country-of-origin requirement serves no one. It does not make sense to spend billions on events that would benefit from a larger field of higher-caliber athletes.
The current Olympic system is also unbalanced in age. Too many sports have children competing — especially gymnastics and figure skating, where the physics of a 13- to 16-year-old female can easily outperform a female 18 and older. I have no desire to train for or be part of that show.
There is not a single competitor from the 1936 Berlin Olympics who could beat me in virtually any athletic event today — and I would not be the only one. This includes Jesse Owens, who was 50+ lbs lighter than me. The average NFL running back today would beat Jesse Owens in practice. Our general fitness today is superhuman compared to 1936. This is not about cheating; it is about common sense and a general understanding of the human body. Let us also not forget that within just a few years of those Games, the Germans were issuing methamphetamine to their soldiers, giving them the ability to stay alert and awake for days at a time — hence the term "super soldier" during the Blitzkrieg. The long-term effects on the soldiers and their morale, however, were devastating, which led German command to cut back on its usage.
Non-profit organizations struggle to recruit leaders capable of pushing a sport to the next level with real competitive income. The only viable path to making certain Olympic sports professional beyond college is to introduce legal gambling to fund such events — creating professional teams that can sustain themselves with the right business model. Most Olympic events cannot survive using the same old lineup in a professional league. They fail time and again despite having all the right ingredients.
The Ancient Greeks would be ashamed of what the Olympics have become. In ancient times they shamed their cheaters — today we defend them. I will not dishonor all those who have been sacrificed on a false altar for concepts not remotely Greek in nature.
V. Where I'm Headed
My remaining athletic goals can be achieved on YouTube at my own pace, while I pursue other life goals. One can continue to improve in speed and strength with the proper training cycle, depending on the event. I am fitter and faster now than I was in college. Training for a team sport sometimes forces one to sacrifice individual talent — that is the reality of a true team sport.
There are more avenues today for generating real income in the fitness arena than ever before. My remaining athletic goals can be achieved on my terms, for a purpose that actually puts food on the table.
The logos above are for those looking for supplements that are tested by third-party organizations to ensure they are clean enough for performance athletes in college-level sports—a billion-dollar market designed to keep the next generation of athletes clean. When in doubt, research.